And being honest with your shadow
This was my favorite podcast episode to record because it made me so uncomfortable to be so honestly vulnerable.
In this episode, I had on my friend Jaime, a life coach specializing in embodiment and creativity. Something she has been exploring lately is archetypes and what they mean for her past, present, and future self.
Some call it archetypes, some call it shadow, and others (me) call it essence. To Carl Jung, archetypes are symbolic images we unconsciously understand. There’s the Sage, the Hero, the Trickster, etc. But, what if we created our own archetypes? Symbolic ideals that we projected out through our ego. These culminate through our persona, anima/animus, the self, and the shadow. I won’t get into too much detail about these….yet, but I do think they’re important to allude to for our conversation in this episode.
Archetypes in Sexuality
Through the lens of archetypes, we explore our sexual journeys and how we were showing up in the shadow sides of said archetypes. Each archetype comes with a shadow and light side depending on how we move through and embody them.
An archetype Jaime was embodying through ego was slut. She felt she needed to sleep with people and show up in that archetype in order to be seen as desireable, because she didn’t feel worthy of having a committed relationship.
The archetype I had embodied was “flirt.” I did this unconsciously because I was constantly told I was a flirt, all talk, someone who liked teasing instead of following through. I allowed those projections to stick to me and attach to my persona. This later turned into an archetype I call “Samantha Jones,” from Sex and the City, because I wanted to hold power and control in my sexuality. I didn’t want to be seen as a tease anymore and wanted to be identified as someone who didn’t care about relationships or being wanted. In the beginning, this was an archetype from a wounded ego; a feeling that I was not capable of holding a relationship so it was better to shun the idea altogether.
Today, I would say that archetype is from a feeling of empowerment. From feeling good in my skin and knowing that my worth is inherent regardless of my relationship status.
Where are you Showing up Unconsciously?
We all hold archetypes unconsciously, not just in our sexual experiences. I like to boil it down to a word, or essence of what I am holding in my identity. This essence can be a value or narrative I picked up about myself that might not actually be authentic to who I want to be.
Our unconscious narratives are not things we have to immediately remove either. We might see them as harmful because they can be inauthentic, but they always teach us a lesson. I believe we hold them because there is a theme we are receiving a lesson or clarity on. I mean, that’s the whole point of living right? To learn lessons and find peace? If we were fully authentic from the get-go, we would probably be really bored living as long as we do.
One of the words I uncovered was “complainer.” This helped me see that the tension I was experiencing and complaining about was my ticket to redirecting my energy and moving into a place of ease.
Another word was “dramatic.” Clearly, I love talking about shadow words and how they are showing up for me and my persona.
Shame is a useful tool in uncovering these narratives as well as judgment. Where we are judging, feeling shame, or being triggered, helps us find these archetypes that may have gone unnoticed before. They become a part of our habits, and we can all benefit from asking ourselves how we wish to show up moving forward.
Do you have an archetype you’ve recently discovered? How has that shown up for you? Can you identify the dark side and the light side of that archetype? How would you like to experience that archetype moving forward? Let me know below!
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